It is natural to have disputes in the family on some issue or the other. Apart from the dispute between husband and wife, the most popular is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which is very delicate as well as special. Every mother-in-law hands over her rights and responsibilities along with the son to her daughter-in-law and expects that her daughter-in-law should take care of the family.
The mother-in-law tries to teach and explain to the daughter-in-law as a mother how to take care of the family, but many times the daughter-in-law considers it as an attempt to assert her mother-in-law's authority and ignores her words. The mother-in-law feels that the daughter-in-law does not listen to her or does not respect her. In such a situation, it is normal to have a rift between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law.
It is natural that the woman who took care of the home and family for years, expects the daughter-in-law to take care of the family and relationships in the same way after the son's marriage. But the daughter-in-law, who has a different lifestyle, choices, and thoughts, her way of taking care of the family can also be different from the mother-in-law.
In such a situation, there is a conflict between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. Sometimes the fights and disputes increase so much that the daughter-in-law does not want to live in her in-laws' house. If your daughter-in-law does not want to live in her in-laws' house or does not listen to you about her mother-in-law and father-in-law, then by adopting some methods, the relationship can be saved from breaking and the daughter-in-law can be taught to live happily with her in-laws.
Talk
The mother-in-law should talk to the daughter-in-law openly. Misunderstandings can be cleared by sitting together and talking. Try to understand the reason behind the daughter-in-law's displeasure and arrogant attitude. It may be that the daughter-in-law does not like the way you are adopting to teach and explain her or the daughter-in-law is feeling herself different from the family due to your rules and regulations.
Understand the daughter-in-law's point of view.
Your daughter-in-law may have her thoughts and views. Especially if the daughter-in-law is an educated working professional, then it is normal for you to have ideological differences with her. In such a situation, try to understand what the daughter-in-law wants, what her view is about family and relationships, and at the same time respect her thoughts and way of living.
Make your daughter-in-law your daughter.
As a mother-in-law, you expect your daughter-in-law to treat you like her mother. After marriage, your daughter-in-law's priority should be your son and in-laws. For this, you must respect your daughter-in-law like a daughter. Different rules for your daughter and different behavior for your daughter-in-law will distance her from you. In such a situation, the daughter-in-law neither considers her mother-in-law as her mother nor listens to her.
Support daughter-in-law in her decisions.
In most cases, the daughter-in-law does not want to live in her in-laws' house because she wants independence. She wants to make decisions for her husband, children, or house, but it is difficult for her to get the right to make decisions when her mother-in-law and father-in-law are around. In such a situation, let the daughter-in-law make decisions related to the family. Support her in her decisions.
Do not put pressure on the daughter-in-law.
The mother-in-law wants her daughter-in-law to take care of the family just like her. The mother-in-law tells the daughter-in-law the time and method of waking up, sleeping, or eating. This puts the daughter-in-law under pressure. For example, the mother-in-law tells the daughter-in-law what to do after waking up at 5 am like her, what to cook, whom to talk to, and whom to keep a distance from. In this way, the daughter-in-law starts feeling pressure in the family. The mother-in-law should explain the good and bad to the daughter-in-law but should not put pressure on her and give the daughter-in-law the freedom to handle the family in her way. So that the daughter-in-law herself can feel which way would be better to handle the house.
(PC: ISTOCK)
